KARMA: 4 Lessons Learned from ISS/OSS
12/3/2016
After garnering a job as a teacher, I was walking through the hallways of my alma maters. There were still teachers working whom I had when I was a student. I respected those teachers, but in reflection, I sure was a handful while in school. In fact, I was suspended several times between junior and high school. Many of these teachers, and even community members, were amazed that I made it into the profession of teaching…even though my mom was a teacher. One word reverberated with me as I started my teaching career….KARMA!
Karma refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual according to Wikipedia. The lessons I have learned from my own experiences of bad behavior have supported me in understanding students and parents at a different level. Many teachers come from the same mold: they were the student in school who always loved school, loved playing school as a child, and were rule followers. This was definitely not me. At one point in 6th grade a teacher told my mom that I was in trouble, remember she was also a teacher. This teacher would come down to her classroom and report the latest incident. My mom finally told her, "Do you want me to go down there and beat the crap (or similar synonym) out of him?" That teacher quit coming down to tell her and somehow I had a much better year!
Now as a principal, I feel there are many lessons I can impart on the students in my school, as well as stories I can tell parents who struggle with their own child's behavior. Here are four lessons I learned from my in-school suspension and out-of-school suspensions.
Connect Better with Kids
How many times does a kid come into my office with a story that sounds exactly like what I did in school? This is where Karma comes into play. Now I am dealing with it as a principal! I always search for the motivation behind the behavior incident. Many times the motivation is to either avoid or obtain something…attention, objects, tasks, adults, or other students. Over 95% of the behavioral referrals in my school fall into one of these categories. Having spent time in and out of school for behavior consequences I feel like I can empathize with students, as well as trying to understand their rationale and motivation behind the behavior. I vowed to deal with student behavior differently! Getting kids to own their behavior is a premise I instill daily. I believe all behavior is language; we just need to listen and watch more closely to see what students are really tell us. After garnering ownership of the behavior, the next step is having students repair the relationship. This can be with a teacher or a peer. Modeling language, practicing that verbiage, and giving students some choice in how they want to repair this relationship makes students understand what is most important….the relationships. I am a colossal fan of Restorative Justice. Restorative Justice promotes students repairing relationships first and foremost. This was not the case in my school experience. I remember one administrator in high school asked me, "You have two choices: 1) Would you like me to call your father, or 2) You can choose that I won't write you a letter of recommendation when you graduate?" Guess what I chose?
Relate to Parents More Effectively
Parents sometimes don't know how to react when I tell them about a behavior incident dealing with their kid. Sometimes the parent wants to learn more and question me, sometimes they are embarrassed and are apologetic, and sometimes they admit they flat out don't have the skills to support their student and don't know what to do. My phone conversations usually start out with this verbiage, "Good afternoon. This is Jon Konen from school. Do you have a couple minutes? How are you today?" (These questions let me know a little into how parents may or may not react to the relaying of the upcoming behavior incident). I continue with the following, "I am here working with Johnny on an incident that occurred this afternoon. We are calling to let you know what happened, and how we are fixing it." (This let's parents know that we are already on to the solution.) "Little Johnny owns the fact that he hit another student outside when he was upset over a football game. Johnny has already met with the student, apologized, and now we are coming up with a plan for success at recess." If parents are struggling with this information I can then draw from my vast behavior experiences and employ my stories. It reaffirms with parents that, yes, your kid made a mistake, but we can fix it. I, too, made mistakes and they can fixed!
More Creative with Consequences
Punitive and retributive consequences do not always work with young students. In fact, handing out punitive consequences only works when it decreases the big three: intensity, frequency, or duration of an unwanted behavior. All of the consequences I received throughout my schooling involved lost recesses, in-school suspensions, and even out-of-school suspensions that did not affect the big three! I can now employ more teaching and re-teaching. The use of social stories and restorative practices has supported a climate where relationships come first. When a student is removed from the classroom for being a learning disruption, there are two upcoming conversations that are equally important: 1) how to fix the behavior, and 2) how to fix the relationship. Supporting students with this process is vital. Many students of any age do not have the words to fix the situation. After getting ownership of the behavior, and helping the students feel empathy towards the person whom is victimized, we practice verbiage, and many times I go with the student to hold them accountable. I may have to support them with actually following through with the actions. We also work on the body language that we use to deliver the information; we teach what that looks like in a respectful manner. Next, we praise the student for fixing the relationship. I then give them ideas and strategies they can use when they encounter the same situation. NOTE: We have successfully reduced office referrals by 67% this school year as of November 1, 2016.
Culture is More Important
"Out for blood" is the terminology I use when someone wants a harsher punishment for student behavior. I remember being in a parent-teacher conference with my parents and all my teachers and high school principal were sitting at the same table. They were deciding on what my consequences would be if I continued getting in trouble. They focused on what I was doing wrong and emphasized how they would increase the punitive consequences each time. This was not very effective for me as I continued to get in trouble. My dad's hair changed from gray to bald quickly while I was in junior high and high school. (Dad, I continue to apologize…and yes, Karma is catching me daily.) Don't get me wrong, there are some circumstances where I will still use in-school suspension and even out-of-school suspensions for students. Using suspension consequences to control unwanted behavior has proven less effective as using restorative practices in our school. When safety is a concern where physical aggression, a weapon, or complete and continued disrespect occurs, ISS and possibly OSS might be warranted. Currently, one out-of-school suspension has been used this year in our school. As compared to the previous six years, this is three to four times less. Some educators want to see stiffer punishments or consequences that are more retributive. This may work with a small percentage of students, but the restorative practices work more effectively and create a stronger school culture. How we treat each other and what we spend our time highlighting tells the story of our school. Our story includes daily affirmations from students about other students doing the correct thing. Every morning I read slips of paper where students have observed someone else in our school being kind to someone else. I then staple all of these slips of paper on a bulletin board so everyone can read them. In a little over a quarter, 500 acts of kindness have been recognized and read over the PA. Students love hearing their name read, and love highlighting other students in our school. It definitely promotes more kids wanting to participate. We do the same thing with staff members. Staff members write down acts of kindness by other teachers. I read them at the end of all staff meetings. These two easy to run programs can help change the culture of your school. I believe we are creating a socially conscious school that works hard on academics, and even harder at relationships!
Karma is crazy thing if you believe in it. I sometimes wonder about the profession I chose; then I remember, my calling is to support kids and families!
As a 5th grade teacher, in 2010 Jon won the Presidential Award for Elementary Math and Science Teaching (PAEMST). As a principal, his school won the 2012 Blue Ribbon Award. In 2018, he won the National Distinguished Principal Award (NDP). In 2019 he won the National No Kid Hungry Breakfast Hero Award.
Jon is the author of three guides published on teacher.org: An Educator's Guide to Combat Bullying & Bully Prevention; Teacher Evaluation: A Transition Guide to Exemplary Performance; and You are the Wild Card: Infusing Fun Back into Curriculum. He has authored a children's picture book that was released January 2019 titled Benjamin’s Visit to Principal Reads Office…again! (available at www.archwaypublishing.com)
- Learning How to Say No and Set Boundaries with Parents - November 21, 2022
- If You Had Only One Behavior Strategy to Use in Your Classroom, What Would It Be? - September 26, 2022
- Live Your Code: 7 Strategies That Will Help You Be the Most Effective Educator You Can Be - August 15, 2022
