8 Questions for Proactive Reflection

Posted
11/19/2016

Jon Konen
District Superintendent

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QUESTION 1: What Are the Top 5 Most Stressful and Difficult Decisions That You Have Made Recently?

We make 1,000's of decisions on a daily basis. Some of these decisions are easy and some are difficult and stressful. Hopefully we are making these decisions based on what's best for kids. Choosing our five most stressful decisions for the week may be easy for you, but narrowing it down to five helps you focus on where the stress is really coming from in our job. As educators we mainly make decisions related to these nine areas: 1) student to student, 2) student to teacher, 3) student to parent, 4) teacher to teacher, 5) teacher to parent, 6) teacher to administration, 7) administration to parent, 8) administration to student, and 9) self-help. Categorizing our five most stress decisions into one of these nine areas supports us in determining the loci of our stress, as well as determining how much can we actually control in these decisions. Most likely, there is a repeated category. What is that category?

Here's what my reflection list looks like (my thoughts are abbreviated; all five have expansive stories behind them):

Teacher to Administration - Working with a staff member that needs support.
Parent to Administration - Allowing new students to attend our school.
Teacher to Administration - Working with teachers to work with new students.
Teacher to Administration - Working with teachers who work with difficult students.
Self-Help - Working to stay organized.

QUESTION 2: From Your List, What Is the Most Difficult Decision You Made and Why?

After you have made your list, what category was repeated the most? Would you consider this the loci of your stress? Knowing that we are much more effective and efficient when we can focus on one decision at a time, let's reflect on the most stressful decision you made. Sometimes we may perseverate on that one decision, but we have to give ourselves latitude in understanding that this is just one more decision. We have to decide how much influence we truly have over controlling the situation. If we decide we can control more of the situation, what are the next steps in making the situation more positive? If we decide we do not have much control over the situation, we must metaphorically "let it go" and only focus on what we do have control over.

Here is my reflection and thoughts on my most difficult decision of this past week…the "loci" of stress:

Self-Help - The loci of my stress comes from not being unorganized. Unfortunately, time constraints are the major factor. I will make a list of five things I need to get done immediately, five things that can wait until next week, and five things that can wait until later. I understand that all other decisions will be easier when I can get more organized.

QUESTION 3: Would You Have Changed Any Action You Took in Making That Decision and Why?

True reflection means being honest with yourself. Sometimes getting an outside perspective is vital to understanding if we truly are being honest with ourselves. We get caught up in what we are doing and we may be "unaware" of the truth in our decisions. In my eyes, this is the single-most decisive characteristic that makes us who we are…a person's truth is part science and part perception. When we make an educational decision we can say we are "doing what's best for kids," but who decides what's best for kids? It is the collective thought from society that helps us determine our perception on whether we are making sound educational decisions which is what's best for kids. This here in lies many struggles between the categories listed above in question 1. How do we trust ourselves to make the right decisions for students? The answer is multiple experiences and collective thought. What might be socially accepted in one area of the country may not be in another. For example, 38% (19 states) of our nation still believes corporal punishment is an effective strategy for educators to use in schools (Read this article from a Oct.17, 2016, NEA Today posting: Why Are 19 States Still Allowing Corporal Punishment in Schools? The truth may look different for the community in which we are located…these differences can be celebrated, but also can be controversial.

Next, decide if you had the chance to go back and change any actions and decisions you made, what would you do differently? This part in the reflection process supports our work for the future. When we have a similar situation, we can pull from our past decisions to make these decisions easier. Putting the time into reflecting will make us more effective and efficient for the future.

Here is my reflection and thoughts on the single most difficult decision I made this week:

SELF-HELP - When I reflect on changing something, the solution to this question is controversial in my mind. The fine balance between home and school expectations is a struggle. I made my son's parent-teacher conference, was able to hunt deer for 10 hours (which will be all I can manage for this hunting season), conduct several after and before school meetings, meet my wife for a quick dinner, moderate a twitter chat one night, have dinner with the in-laws one night, research and read for a solution on a unique student one night, and so much more. My "moral compass" tells me I can't forsake family time for school success. Deciding what to cut out in order to get organized is going to take some creative thinking!

QUESTION 4: What Are the Top 5 Most Successful Decisions That You Made Recently?

Notice we started this reflection process with the 5 most difficult decisions. We are ending with the 5 most successful decisions we have made recently. Hopefully, we spend more time in this area. If not, we need to! Educators, by profession, are mostly self-less individuals and we have a hard time accepting compliments and being overtly proud of our actions and decisions. I believe when society cuts educators up, we must unite and tell our story…and do it loudly and proudly! I urge you make a list of 20 or 50 decisions that you have made this week that are successful. Then chose 5.

Here is a list of my top 5 most successful decisions this week:

Administrator to Student - Having Marshall the Miracle Dog present at our school. Great message on bully prevention. Impacting all of K-6 and staff!
Student to Student - Continuing our student kindness program. Each day many students right down a rule that another student followed in our school and I read it on the PA in the morning.
Teacher to Administrator - When a stressful situation happened, I am proud of myself for not reacting right away like I wanted to and giving myself time to compose myself and my next words!
Teacher to Administrator - Allowing teachers to change the location and format of their Veteran's Day celebration. A packed gym with hardly any dry eyes transpired when students interviewed Vets, read powerful tributes and essays, and watched motivational clips on Veteran's Day. Fantastic!
Administrator to Student - Celebrating as many students as possible each day with a high-five, hand shake, or hug!

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QUESTION 5: Out of Those Top 5 Decisions, What Are You Most Proud of and Why?

Can you image making a list each week of your top 5 successful decisions? That would be 180 successful decisions a year. Then from that list, pick your most successful decision of the week. If you collected all of them that would be 36 success stories for the year! That actually sounds like a fantabulous book! Keeping your list so it is accessible is important in reflection. Personally, I have access to all of my blog posts electronically. Think of a stressful day where you need to get away from it all or you may even be thinking about a mental health day…pull out your list, read it silently, then read it out loud. What sticks out in your mind? This list could be used in multitude of ways.

Here is the decision that I am most proud of this week:

I am most proud of supporting the presentation, Marshall the Miracle Dog. I was pleasantly surprised at the powerful message the presenter, Cyndi Willenbrock, had for students and staff in our school about bully prevention and perseverance. Students and staff had tears of not only empathy, but empowerment when they listened, responded, and asked questions of Cyndi and Marshall. *Bonus, every child was allowed to pet Marshall the Miracle Dog.

QUESTION 6: How Can You Replicate These Decisions?

Being able to replicate the good decisions from the past is important for the future. As you gain more experience in education, making good decisions for most of us is just part of the process of becoming a successful educator. It will hopefully increase the possibility in making the same decisions. Everyone likes success and the ability to reflect and visualize positive outcomes is done by the greatest of athletes, successful business men/women, and history makers.

Journaling, blogging, or writing down your reflection is one way you can ensure that it can be replicated. Here is my journal entry I made using bullet points to help me in making a plan.

Collaborate with the counselor on upcoming presentations in our school district that we may want at our school.
Research with staff members on possible presentations.
Find solid presentations that have good reviews from other schools, web sites, and even social media.
Find presentations that match our goals and/or theme for our school.
Use the PA system, social media, and fliers home to advertise and highlight the upcoming presentation.
Talk with students in the hallways and in classrooms to raise awareness.
Buy something that each classroom and library can use to remember the presenter and the message…a book, poster, video, etc…
Follow up on presentation with students and staff; connect back to the message routinely on PA, memos, staff meetings, and more.

QUESTION 7: What Can You Control in All These Decisions?

Many times we stress about situations we have no control over, and we may even take ownership of these same situations. We somehow think we can make a miraculous change in the situation. Sometimes we can, many times we cannot. Typical educators spend many nights of sleepless unrest worrying about the decisions we have made (one of the eight categories in question 1). We may have to get advice from our colleagues or significant others in order to determine how much control we truly have in these decisions. We may be unware.

Here are my thoughts on what I can control in these decisions for the past week:

MOST DIFFICULT DECISION - I can control the amount of work I finish, when I complete this work, and how much work I can delegate to others. Spending time with students, parents, and teachers will always be my priority over paperwork. But, there is a point where I have to spend time during the school day on paperwork so it doesn't adversely affect my family life at home. Saving all my paperwork for non-contact time with kids would be ideal, but I cannot keep trading work time for family time. I cannot control nor take ownership of my guardians/parent's decisions, not all student's decisions, and nor some staff member's decisions. I have to let this go.

MOST SUCCESSS DECISION - I can control the experiences my students and staff have collectively through culture building. Connecting our experiences to goals that are set individually and school-wide help ensure that we can replicate the successful decisions we have made thus far. I cannot control student's and staff's emotions towards the message, but I can support the further building of empathy and empowerment.

QUESTION 8: Make a Plan for the Future; What's on Your Plan?

Making a plan doesn't have to be a long drawn out script. It could be quick bullet points with dates. Adding dates makes your plan real and adds the element of time. These are now short goals for you based on your reflection. The format you use will match your personal thought process. Some educators think in a list format, bullets, outline, blog, or numerated phrases.

Here is my weekly plan for the future:

Continue to prioritize my "to-do" list. Determine what needs to be done immediately, during the week, or possibly by the end of the semester. Make a to-do list each Monday with these categories. (RE: Most difficult decision)
Continue to locate and create positive learning experiences for all students. Book another presentation for quarter three in school. (RE: Most successful decision)
Continue to point out positives that I would like to see continued from students, parents, and staff daily. (RE: 5 Most Difficult Decisions)
Continue to highlight students and staff who do random acts of kindness, see it done by others, and promote these stories daily. (RE: 5 Most Successful Decisions)

By doing this weekly, you will find patterns. These patterns will guide you in your next steps. After you do this reflective process the first time, repeating the steps will become faster and faster. Hopefully, you can get into a rhythm and routine where reflection is part of your day, week, or quarter. The power of reflection is best served over time by being true to yourself!

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