Have Times Really Changed?
11/4/2016
Today is a lazy day here in my home. Went to early church, went to the grocery store, went to the local waffle place, went to the dollar store, ran a load of laundry, and then put on my p.j.'s to enjoy the rest of the sunny, warm, breezy, Southern Sunday. Watched a few episodes of a great show on my favorite streaming service, then wandered in off the patio to get a canning jar (yep, we use those as drinking glasses here in the South) of ice water. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of one last remaining thing yet to be put in its place from the recent move of homes. It was a high school yearbook.
As quickly as you could say, "Everybody cut footloose," I grabbed up that beautiful faux leather-bound book of marching band/German Club/dances/proms/NHS activities/and other memories and plopped down on my built-for-a-nap sectional sofa and commenced to taking my walk down memory lane.
I graduated high school in 19-parachute-pants-punk-music-Devo-B'52's-mullet-Thriller-Bondo-flouncy-shirts-with-bolero-ties-pleated-jeans-with-peg-legs-and-feather-hair-Farrah-flip-83. What a great time to have been a teenager. No lie. It was simply the greatest! I drove my parents' "second" car-a 1967 Dodge Coronet-wherever I was granted permission and typically wherever I wanted around our suburban Detroit hometown of 28,000'ish people. The car was huge, white, had a 440 hp engine, and was named Moby Dick the Great White Whale. Moby's gas gauge never worked, so I knew to keep track of the odometer; a gasOnline run had to be made every 250 miles to be sure no one had to push Moby home. Never would a call be made that gas had run out because that might have disclosed the shenanigans in which my friends and were engaged. It took two people to start it-one to hold their finger over the manifold intake and one to turn the key in the ignition. We were young, looking ahead to our futures, and ready to take on life by any means necessary. We wore our jeans tight, loved our music loud, and drove our cars a little too fast; nothing got between us and our Calvins.
After an hour or so, turning the last page of year book, after the advertisements and congratulatory messages in space purchased by parents, something caught my eye: a page of photos of the Special Education students who were housed in the Art Annex, off the side of the main building. I didn't know of these students except one, but his photo wasn't featured on this activity page.
The back of the book? The back of the very same book where I reminisced with so much joy about the three wonderful years of 10th, 11th, and 12th grades which held, for me, some of my life's most wonderful memories of times with friends, building floats, running to the donut shop across the street with money handed to me by my German teacher and the request of, "a large coffee, 2 sugars, a glazed donut, and don't get caught"…?
My memory walk faded along with the curiosity about where those 700 students are with whom I graduated. Still in touch with many, I know some have passed, many have relocated, there are homemakers, retail workers, doctors, lawyers, teachers, factory workers, business owners, and a plethora of other roles assumed, and I was left to wonder…why were the special needs kids relegated to the back page of the yearbook? I mean, for the general education students and activities, there were literally hundreds of pages of memories. Am I to assume that the Special Education Department of my large suburban Midwestern high school never did anything noteworthy? They never created memories? They never went on field trips? Cheered for our football team? They didn't do anything fun together?
Then my thoughts continued to the place of noted injustice: why the heck weren't they included in the general education activities? Why weren't they invited to participate in the pre-start-of-school events? Didn't our era's special needs students have school spirit, too?
Boy, I tell ya, it really started my thinking…this kind of "leaving people out" makes me crazy, and when I think back on how it was happening right under my nose, by committing my own sin of omission, all I can do is think of how grateful I am that NOW I GET IT!
We 80's grads were born in the mid-1960's. Our childhoods were marked by social reform, Civil Rights improvements, Women's Lib, the growth of the computer industry, and education reforms…and while all this was going on in the world around us and directly affecting us, most of us never thought twice about the kids in our school's Special Education classes.
President John F. Kennedy, along with his family, had a heart for social issues, especially those around children with disabilities. The first daughter born to Joseph and Rose Kennedy, named Rosemary, identified with significant special needs, yet lived a life full of travel and other pursuits as did her siblings. After a botched attempt at a lobotomy, reports note she was never the same effervescent person. In his writing, speeches, interviews, and oral messages, President Kennedy often shared about his beloved sister, and Eunice Kennedy Shriver would go on to organize the Special Olympics, often citing her sister as her inspiration.
Some people get it. Some are slow to get it but do. Some never get it.
I'm glad I understand now. If we know better, we do better. Life has presented me with a son who is Dyslexic and other family members who are medically fragile or have other types of disabilities. With the years of life experience, a different level of understanding has taken root in my heart. Where once I wouldn't have thought twice to invite a Special Needs kid to an event, I now take them wherever I go and dare anyone to look at us funny. Time heals us but mostly time changes us where we need to be changed. Some call it a "refining fire."
What excuses do we have for not including, or offering to include, our Special Needs population in our daily lives, especially at school? None!
If your school isn't currently including Special Ed students in assemblies, why not? Their class is as much a part of your school's population as any general education class. The Special Ed teacher is fully equipped to make the decision if kids are having a great day and can enjoy it, and if one of the kids is having a difficult day or attendance would create too much sensory overload for some of the kids, the teacher will know. But, they must not be pushed aside or excluded even if the intention is to save them from a perceived social obstacle.
Administrators, is your Special Education class situate in amongst the general education classrooms, or are they relegated to an "annex" far, far away from their peers? Why not discuss a potential relocation with your Special Education team for next school year? If it makes sense, do it!
General ed. teachers, are you encouraging your Special Education Teacher team mates by being a part of the same at-work social circle? My Granny always said, "To have a friend, you have to be a friend." Yep, sometimes people tend to be alone or want to be alone, or we gravitate toward those in our department, but it is good to reach out.
RELATED ARTICLES -
- Online Special Education Degree
- Surviving Your First Year as a Special Education Teacher
- Special Education & Family Involvement
- Special Needs Children & Frequent Changes
Are general education students curious about why "those kids" are in "that room" with "that teacher" and wonder why the class is much smaller than their own? Consider inviting the Special Education staff to have a conversation with general education peers. This would need to be handled with care and of course, with confidentiality, but teaching kids will cause them to know better so they can DO better…
Our school has a Buddy Bench. One day, one of my sweeties was sitting on the bench. A general ed. student approached me and asked if it was okay to talk to her. I said of course it would be fine, and I praised the student for honoring the spirit of the Buddy Bench (when someone is sitting there, go be a buddy to them). Turns out, the two students are now friends who near-daily enjoy each other's company.
My 35th high school class reunion will be in 2018. Hopefully Special Education will be in an even more progressive place than it is now and no more students will ever again have their high school experiences relegated to only the back page of their high school annual. Bringing knowledge and compassion to our students, both general ed. and Special Ed., will empower them to make better decisions as to what is right when considering their friends. As for me, I wish I had the knees, waistline, and hair I had back in the day…but I'd trade it all in for the knowledge and wisdom I have now.
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